After I got home from the hospital, I had to stop for a moment to process everything that had happened.
I hated seeing my mom sliced up and swollen, her arm a wreck. It was a necessary part of the healing process to surgically replace her ruined shoulder. As bad as it looked, I kept telling myself that her shoulder really was much better now… But that did nothing to erase that sickly sweet acid taste in my mouth. The queasiness just wouldn’t go away.
I hated leaving my mom alone in the hospital, but I just couldn’t watch her suffer anymore. I needed some space. I had to breathe. I wouldn’t have been able to take it much longer.
If I’d stayed, I would have come unhinged. The last thing the nurses on the floor needed was another patient. I didn’t want to know what they did with family members who suddenly started crying hysterically and were unable to stop.
Still, I felt terrible for leaving. Mom was now alone. For her sake, I wished I could have taken it just a little while longer.
I finally just sat in the dining room and slumped down into my chair, exhausted. A million images of sickness and misery replayed in my mind as I stared blankly out of the picture windows at the night sky beyond. And then it hit me.
Jesus lived in a hospital.
We stop in awe at the way Jesus suffered on the day of his crucifixion. We marvel at how he bore the weight of all our sins as he carried his cross. But what we don’t often realize is that Jesus didn’t just suffer on Calvary. Jesus hurt every day of his life. Here’s why.
Jesus lived every moment of every day seeing his children suffer and die in a fallen world, a world that he originally created to be free of pain and death.
But then sin happened.
We stepped in front of the speeding car of death, refusing to hold his hand. We took one step off the curb of life and met the unyielding fender of the Fall. And just like that, we were all dying. We’ve all been ER patients ever since.
But Jesus came to our hospital. He came in the flesh to our broken world. He came not only to abolish sin and the sting of death, but he also came to comfort and to heal… But in order to do so, he first had to see us suffer.
No wonder he lost so much sleep. He couldn’t help but stay up late to heal the sick, the blind, and those crippled for life. He couldn’t stand to see them in pain. We were his family. It was a hard thing for him to watch.
The difference between Jesus and myself was that Jesus stayed. After less than a day of watching the suffering of strangers and then, finally, the filleting of my most precious Mom, I couldn’t take it any more. I had to leave. But Jesus stayed. For more than thirty years, he lived every moment of every day in a hospital surrounded by our brokenness and pain.
“This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
“He took up our infirmities
and bore our diseases.” Matthew 8:17 NIV
Jesus stayed, and, in a very real way, he’s still here. When he ascended to Heaven, he gave us the gift of his Spirit so that we would never have to be separated from him again.
I realized then that my mom wasn’t alone in the hospital. Jesus was still there, sitting up with her in her hospital room. He was also right there with me. He said it himself: “…surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 NIV
Whatever you might be going through, whatever pain you might be feeling, remember that you are not alone. Jesus loves you, and he wants to sit up with you through the hardest times of your life. To learn more about just how much he loves you, please visit PeaceWithGod.net
Thank you for reading, and never forget, Jesus loves you.
Audrey Cunningham
Great post!
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, Julia. I hope it gave you a lift today. 🙂 God bless you! Audrey
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thank you! wonderful post and I’ve been where you were with my dad. Sadly, he never made it home. i tried to be there to the end, but couldn’t.
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That really is hard. I hope it’s a comfort to know that Jesus was with him. God bless you, Deb. I hope your grand babies are helping to fill the hole in your heart. God bless you and them! I hope the newborn is doing well!
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Thankfully, my dad had accepted Jesus! My first post in this blog was dedicated to him. I’ve wanted to write another blog about dads-inspired by others. My dad had a rough life, as did my father in law. But my FIL was a saint from his experiences whereas my dad suffered from demons. And I’ve now been blessed with a saint of a step dad, who is now in hospice….not doing very well …. Ah life and death…
New grandbaby is perfect! Just sleeps and eats!
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God bless you, Deb. Saying a prayer for you all and especially your Stepdad. Glad the baby is doing so well. What a blessing he must be in the middle of all this!
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Ah, Audrey, Debbie, would love to know more of your story – been there with my dad as well, except he did make it home, in that sense – dare I say they forced us out but it seemed as if he knew and wanted – waited? – to come home – he wasn’t there for even hardly the rest of the day and it was hard but I did stay, but you’re right, Jesus was there –
listening to story on the radio –
trials either soften our heart or harden it – depending….
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God bless you, Donna. Your really are an inspiration that you’ve come through your trials with a soft and loving heart. God bless you and your family. Audrey
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only by God’s grace, Audrey, only by His grace – I looked for the first post that Deby mentioned, about her dad; did she mean on her blog; I didn’t find it
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Yep, it’s on her blog, which I highly recommend to any else who might be reading. Actually, she has two blogs I think… Let’s help each other: https://lifetimeofforgiveness.wordpress.com/ and Follow the Tumble Lees: http://thetumblelees.me/ but I think the blog post she was talking about would be on the first one. I’d ask her for the specific post if you had trouble finding it.
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okay, let me look; I was actually on the other one
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found it; thanks so!
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‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ His promises are amazing.
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They are! And God is the only being in creation who always keeps his promises. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Jackie! God bless you. Audrey
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Perfect. I understand.
I am so sorry you and your mom have had to go through so much. ❤
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Thanks Sarah. Thankfully, we’ve been strangely blessed through all this craziness of the last few years. Hope you’re feeling better today yourself!
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I am feeling better today. More positive.
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Aw, that was beautiful. Thank you for the insight.
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I’m glad it gave you a lift, Michelle. God bless you!
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Beautiful and heartfelt thank you.
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I’m glad it gave you a lift! 🙂
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